A Transformational Experience with Bufo Alvarius
Kissing the Magical Toad
My Transformational Experience with Bufo Alvarius.
We’ve all heard that we need to kiss a lot of frogs or toads to find our Prince Charming. Some common variations of this famed phrase are:
You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.
Sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs to find a prince.
You sure have to kiss a lot of toads before Prince Charming comes along.
Before you meet the handsome Prince you’ve gotta kiss a lot of toads.
Believe me, I’ve kissed, fucked, married and dated quite of few! It took me quite some time to find my Prince and to start to create my Fairytale.
Before you meet the handsome Prince you’ve gotta kiss a lot of toads!
However, the fascinating thing is, that it was actually ME that had to change in order to find my Prince. You see, it all came down to what was happening inside of me that attracted me to various frogs. I finally realized that it was MY lack of SELF-LOVE & SELF-RESPECT that was allowing the frogs into my life.
For whatever reason, most of us humans have a deep sense of shame inside of us. This translates as a lack of self-love and leads us to make decisions that don’t serve us or our higher purpose and drain us of our life energy.
Women in particular are gluttons for unworthiness. It’s because of this that we try to please and be “good-girls” in order to receive love. We give and give and give to the point of exhaustion all the while yearning and expecting the love and care to be returned and reciprocated. Instead, in many instances, we make the wrong choices and choose partners, lovers, jobs and friends that drain us. When we finally wake up to this reality, we are too damned tired to do anything about it and lack the energy to make a positive change.
I know this first hand... and it nearly cost me my life! During my awakening, I mustered up the energy and courage to leave a draining, one-sided marriage after almost 20 years of serving, catering and accommodating. However, after I did, I was faced with the monumental task of rebuilding my life from scratch. 20 years is a lot of time to interweave your social, family and business life together! Post divorce, I didn’t have the energy to do so! I just wanted to REEEEEEEEEEEEEST and go to SLEEEEEEEEEEEP. A big LOOOOOOOONG sleep. So, having a nervous breakdown seemed like the easiest way to do so!
That’s how I ended up in the PSYCH ward, in case you read the introduction of my story. Hitting rock bottom and spending time with those interesting people in the PSYCH ward forced me to DIG DEEP and REAWAKEN my soul. It eventually allowed me to re-connect with the INFINITE source of UNIVERSAL ENERGY that I needed to rebuild my life. A NEW life rich with beautiful experiences, harmonious relationships and divine abundance.
Hopefully, dear reader, you won’t allow yourself to get to ROCK BOTTOM to begin your Journey of Awakening. There are so many things that I could have done earlier to prevent a full-blown breakdown. My wish for you is that you will find some of those answers in my story and get in the FAST LANE of the SPIRITUAL SUPER HIGHWAY that I am laying out for you. There's no need to take the arduous slow lane that I was bumbling along in!
So, let's get back to the frogs and toads!
Once I committed myself to a program of self-love and cleared out the emotions of unworthiness, obligation and inappropriate guilt ... I stopped SETTLING! Then, my life began to attract those who desired to treat me like royalty. Now, as my partner, I have a Prince who takes care of me and treats me like his Queen. This frees up so much of my time and energy so I can focus on my creative and spiritual pursuits. One of those creative outlets is the opportunity to tell my story through these writings.
One powerful way that I discovered to cleanse my emotional self was to KISS THE MAGICAL TOAD. This toad is Bufo Alvarius AKA: Bufo, Sapo, Sonoran Desert Toad and/or the Colorado River Toad.
What the heck is this Bufo Toad, you ask? It does sound strange, but I can tell you that for me, kissing this magical toad was a powerful and transformational experience.
The Sonoran Desert Toad, is found in northern Mexico and the southwestern United States. Within its parotid glands exist the substances 5-MeO-DMT and bufotenin. When this substance is gently and harmlessly collected from the toad, the 5-MeO-DMT may be smoked. I had heard of DMT through Joe Rogan’s podcast, however this particular form made it super potent. When it is administered by the right practitioner and in the correct environment it is can be a powerfully psychoactive healer. After inhalation, the user usually experiences a warm sensation, euphoria, and strong visual and auditory hallucinations. Typically, a sense of leaving the body occurs and many have the experience of travelling to the Center of the Universe.
“A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”
– Albert Einstein, German-born theoretical physicist. (1879-1955)
Apparently, indigenous cultures have known about Bufo's powerful properties for centuries and it plays a large part in their spiritual and shamanic ceremonies. This explains why the toad can be seen in the art of many ancient cultures.
On my first BUFO experience, I completely abandoned my body and was transported to a peaceful, colorful, highly energetic vortex. During my absence, a strong snake like energy entered into my body. Its mission was to find “sadness and shame” that was stored as blocked energy, in the nooks and crannies of my physical being. It withered and wriggled to detect and extract these negative pockets of energy that were hindering my ability to love myself fully. I actually felt the discharge of this energy as it was liberated from my body. The cell phone video of my experience shows my body convulsing and shaking as it was freed. It can be a bit disturbing to watch, but believe me, it was pure BLISS.
This snake of compassion was relentless! It worked for about 15 minutes to find every last trace of unworthiness hidden in my body and release it. I felt like I was a wet towel that was being wrung out to remove every last drop of water. But in this case, the water was blocked sadness, unhappiness and grief.
When the energy snake was finished with his task, it was time for me to return. I was reluctant to leave my peaceful sanctuary. From the vantage point of this higher realm, I observed my life, problems and concerns. This made me laugh as they seemed so tiny and ridiculous, which was a refreshing change of perspective.
I thought of my children and family and knew I had to come home. As I felt so vast in the “Centre of the Universe”, it was quite the task to fit the immense energy of my TRUE BEING into my tiny body. I wriggled and squirmed as I squashed my energetic self into the tight confines of my physical self. If you’ve ever had to squeeze into a small, tight neoprene wet-suit you will know what I mean. Even harder than cramming yourself into your high-school skinny jeans I assure you! I finally managed to jam myself into myself.
Upon re-entry, and since then, I have felt a clarity and a lightness. With this new air of buoyancy, I have been able to make better decisions that improve my life and are serving me. I’m still a work in progress… but I am living my metamorphosis and enjoying its gifts and surprises.
For weeks after the session, upon awakening in bed, I would feel a loving, tingling energy flow into my feet and take over my body. I would just allow this feeling of goodness to embed itself into me. What a wonderful new way to start the day!
I have also felt an emptiness in my heart, a hollowness like something was missing. The GOOD NEWS is, that the something was GUILT and UNWORTHINESS. The emptiness was there because a HUGE BLOCKAGE had been removed. At first it felt strange, as it had been living with me for so long. It did take some time to get used to this foreign feeling of having a LIGHT, OPEN and FREE HEART. A heart that is free to LOVE ME.
Thank you BUFO! It was the most MAGICAL KISS!
Note to reader: Much of my inspiration for experimenting with these plant medicines come from listening to the Joe Rogan podcast and his conversations with Graham Hancock as well as the Tim Ferris podcast where he discusses the important role that psychedelics can have in the treatment of depression and ptsd.
Watch the Movie Bufo Alvarius: The Underground Secret.
# BufoAlvarius #Bufo #Sapo #SonoranDesertToad #TheColoradoRiverToad #Mimi#Mimi #JourneyofAwakening#JourneyofAwakening #selflove #5-MeO-DMT #bufotenin