411’s Dark Side of The Ring Report: ‘The Ballad of John ‘Earthquake’ Tenta’

-Season five is here and we start with an episode that likely won’t be all that dark as by all accounts Tenta was a sweetheart. I am okay with that as not every episode needs to make you want to take a shower after watching. Let’s get to it!

-As a reminder, Chris Jericho is our host.

-The preview before the title screen shows we will be hearing from Jake Roberts, Typhoon, Jerry Sags, and the family of Tenta. His son even says, “it’s not very dark side of the ring, huh?” Again, let’s just all celebrate John with this episode.

-OH MAN, SHOCKMASTER FOOTAGE! Let’s go! Oh, and there is going to be some Vince McMahon bashing in this one. That’s fair now!

-We start with a push-up contest between Dino Bravo and The Ultimate Warrior. Jimmy Hart picks a massive “fan” out of the crowd to sit on the back of both men as they did their push-ups. The crowd was pointing at John, and we are finally told that he was a plant. You don’t say? John the smashes The Ultimate Warrior and we have a new MONSTER HEEL!

-We meet Jeff Tenta, John’s son. He says everyone knew him as little Quake and we see pictures of him as a kid with Hulk Hogan, Boss Man, and Tugboat. Cool! He knows his dad was respected and if his dad told someone to keep an eye on his kid, they would do it.

-Next is Joanna Tena, John’s daughter and we see pictures of her with Edge and Gangrel, and with Luna. She talks about how cool it was to walk backstage.

-Next is John Tenta, who is the youngest child. He didn’t want to be a wrestler, but he loves wrestling to this day.

-John grew up in British Columbia and knew he wanted to be a wrestler from a young age. He would watch wrestling with his dad on the few channels they got on their TV. They weren’t rich, but had a big belief in their son and did what they could to support his dream. John was a big time amateur wrestler and was getting offers for Universities in the US. He went to LSU, but they dropped their wrestling program.

-John decided to become a Sumo Wrestler, and started at 22 years old. He was recruited while in LSU, and quit college to become a Sumo Wrestler in Japan. We meet Fumi Saito, wrestling historian, journalist, and author. He notes Sumo is national sport in Japan.

-HAKU! Oh, wait….HAKU..SHOCKMASTER. Go watch Haku’s reaction to The Shockmaster debut. I promise it will put a smile on your face. Haku talks about the differences between pro-wrestling and sumo. He believes they were looking at John to be a grand champion. He went undefeated for eight months and decided to talk away as he couldn’t live the lifestyle. His dream was always to be a pro-wrestler.

-He signed with All Japan in 1986 and we see a photo of him with Baba. Some cool footage of a rather thin working in Japan.

-We meet Josephine Tenta next and she is John’s wife. In a sweet moment we meet here and she starts singing about her love for John. She is from The Philippines and went to Japan on a visa to be a singer/entertainer. It was love at first sight and she admits she knew nothing about wrestling. They discuss the height difference as John was 6’7” and she is 4’11”, but that didn’t bother her.

-Jeff says not to get it twister as his mom is the alpha in the house. Joanna talks about their love story and how amazing it is that they found each other. Josephine knew right away he was a good man with a big heart.

-Fumi says the WWE was looking at John only a year after his All Japan debut and they wanted him as an opponent for Hulk Hogan. John asked those in All Japan if it was okay if he left to join WWE. The Great Kabuki gave his blessing.

-It seems Jeff is not the biological son of John, but is the biological son of Josephine. John knew Josephine and Jeff were a package deal. Jeff says John is the only father he knows, so “that is my dad.” Good for you sir!

-We jump to the money making feud against Hulk Hogan. That gives us Earl Hebner, who talks about what it meant to work with Hogan at that time. He calls John a special friend. Jake “The Snake” Roberts is next and he says that John was a rookie, but took to it like he had been wrestling for years. He says wrestling Hogan is the spot that everyone wants.

-They discuss how great of a heel John was, and they aren’t lying. The Hogan/Quake feud made a ton of money. So much so that Hogan didn’t want to blow it off at SummerSlam as they knew it had more legs on the loop. The first wrestling show I ever attended was at the old Civic Arena in Pittsburgh and the Main Event was Hulk Hogan vs. Earthquake in a stretcher match. I looked the card up years ago and it was Feb 15, 1991 and I count 10 Hall of Famers on the show counting Jimmy Hart.

-We jump WWF/SWS Wrestlefest 1991 in The Tokyo Dome. Fumi says it was the biggest match for John as he was paired with Koji Kitao. It seems they had some beef going back to Sumo and Haku notes that Kitao thought he was Bruce Lee or something. We get footage from the match and Earthquake pins the former Yokozuna Grand Champion. They wrestled the next night and Earthquake was supposed to win again, but Kitao wasn’t having it. He went for Earthquake’s eyes with a poke, so Tenta started throwing legit kicks. Kitao had enough, got disqualified, told the crowd everything was fake and walked out. Tenta was pissed and looked for Kitao in the back. Kitao was fired the next day. Haku notes that John was very quiet and those are the guys you need to watch. This HAKU saying this!

-Commercials!

-Tenta is viewed as a true pro after what happened in Japan and those gains him respect with the boys back in the WWF. Jeff says that his dad loved being the bad guy and that leads to his feud with Jake Roberts. HERE WE GO!

-Jake talks about his gimmick of putting the snake on his opponents after the match. Much like Savage letting the cobra bite him, this is another wrestling moment seared in my brain from childhood. The idea was for Earthquake to kill Damian. They wanted Quaker to jump on the snake while Jake is out cold. Jake said it would mean more to have him tied in the ropes to make him watch. Everyone puts over Jake’s acting performance as he sells his snake getting squashed. He lets us know it was a pair on pantyhose full of hamburger meat. Jake: “we got some letters over it as it traumatized some kids. It’s wrestling, get over it.”

-Quake then serves Bobby Heenan and Vince McMahon “Quake Burgers” on Prime Time and one guess what the burgers were “made” out of? Now that’s a heel! Vince cusses on air and throws the tray of burgers on the ground.

-Fred Ottman is next and he even says he is The Shockmaster and one half of The Natural Disasters. He gives us a brief history of his career including breaking a boombox over Rocky Johnson’s head. He was known as Big Bubba then and Jerry Sags, of the Nasty Boys, says Fred didn’t know his own strength.

-Fred was brought into the WWF as Tugboat, a friend of Hulk Hogan. They gloss over that and jump to his pairing with Earthquake as The Natural Disasters. Sags says they wrestled The Natural Disasters a lot and you had to change your style. Fred did his strong match stuff and Quake could work with anyone.

-The Disasters become Tag Champions and they discuss the crazy road schedule for the WWF. Josephine expected John to be home more than he was. She was knew to the US and was alone a lot. Joanna says that she didn’t see a lot of her dad and she was used to this small woman, but when her dad came home it scared her. She knows that likely broke his heart. Jake takes a shot at the schedule and blames Vince. Okay, I mean, a crazy wrestling schedule wasn’t the idea of Vince McMahon.

-Commercials!

-Back to Fred showing off some of The Natural Disaster action figures. John and Fred weren’t partiers and drinkers. They would stay in their hotel room and talk about family life and laugh at the stupid things others were doing. What they would do is eat a crap ton of food. I bet! They became close friends and had a good run.

-In 1993 John Tenta returns to Japan and we get old audio of John saying he was always impatient in his career and didn’t want pushed to the background.

-Fred stayed in the WWF, but had to come home when tragedy hit. His brother-in-law ran Fred’s bar in Key West, while he was on the road. Fred is talking to Randy on the phone and he can hear Randy put down the phone to break up a fight and someone shoot Randy, killing him instantly. Fred had to come home and off the road for his family.

-John’s work schedule in Japan kept him away from home even more than usual. It led to a blow-up between the two. That sucks!

-THE SHOCKMASTER! Fred has always had a great sense of humor about the ordeal. FLAIR OF THE GOLD! The idea is Fred is Sting and Bulldog’s mystery partner against Sid and The Harlem Heat. Fred was supposed to break through the wall while wearing a Storm Trooper helmet that had glitter all over it. Fred says the holes to see where about the size of a pinhole and they didn’t gimmick the wall. Poor Fred! They told Fred he would have to hit the wall hard.

_-They show the debut to Haku and Jake and they can’t help but laugh their ass off. It is so glorious! HAKU’S LAUGH IS EVERYTHING THAT IS GREAT IN THIS WORLD! I need a minute! Even the producer breaks up laughing.

-The Shockmaster falls coming through the wall and the helmet comes off his head. Sags mentions that Ole Anderson had his voice distorted and was reading lines backstage for The Shockmaster. Forget that though as Haku is still laughing and tells Fred, “I still love you. I never seen that shit before.” I can’t do this justice! Haku needs to go in the Hall of Fame just for this reaction. Sags notes Fred could save a bus full of children and he would still be known for The Shockmaster. “It’s funny as shit.” Back to Haku, who is still laughing which is breaking the producer again.

-Commercials! Thankfully as I need to breath for a second.

-More audio of John who says he wasn’t pleased with the finances in WWF, so he called WCW. They gave him a big contract with less days on the road. Good deal if you can get it! The family moved to Florida and John was at home more. Good! We learn John loved karaoke! He was all about making memories and showed up to whatever he could and it helped his family life.

-Vince McMahon owned the Earthquake gimmick, so he went with Avalanche. That didn’t last long as it was too close to Earthquake, so he became Shark. Sags: “I thought that was fucking stupid.” After a year as The Shark, John went by his real name, John Tenta. “I’m not a fish.” Jake says John was never put in a position to make money in WCW.

-John returns to the WWF in 1998 and is renamed Golga, a member of The Oddities. He had to wear a weird looking mask and carried around a large, plush Eric Cartman doll. We all loved South Park in the late 90s! Cartman, now there is a heel! Jake says it was humiliating to put John under a mask. Justin says everyone wanted Earthquake back.

-John left WWF and opened a wrestling school, but that didn’t work and the family went into bankruptcy. John then got a job working in a Big and Tall Store in the mall. Jake talks about going from working with Hogan to working retail. Hebner says John would shovel shit if it meant making money for his family.

-Next he got a job as a truck driver, and noticed that he had blood clots in his urine. He was on the road, so kept it a secret from everyone. Eventually he went to a doctor and found out he had a tumor in his bladder, but he waited too long and it was too advanced. Sigh! The tumor was the size of a baseball. Oh man!

-Commercials!

-John and Josephine break the news to their kids. Joanne, works in healthcare, and told her brother bladder cancer is one of the most curable, John waited too long as he was on the road. My father-in-law won his battle against bladder cancer, and also won a skin cancer battler. Right now he is fighting a lung cancer battle, and is hanging in there.

-Justin says that John thought if he was still wrestling, they may have caught his cancer earlier. John Jr says he caught his dad watching old tapes and reciting promos. Sadly you can’t body slam the tumors.

-Haku wishes John would have told him he needed help. Seeing Haku cry is something else man!

-John was looking okay in 2005 and there were hopes he could beat it. Jeff was going to be married in June and just before John is told the cancer is back. Josephine and John decided not to tell the kids. They discuss the wedding and there was a karaoke machine. Josephine started singing to John and she broke down and started crying. Oh man! She talks about her love for John. Jeff says at that point they figured it was game over for his dad.

-Commercials!

-Next week is Buff Bagwell! That should be more like Dark Side!

-The cancer has spread throughout his body, but they don’t tell the children at first. Josephine breaks down as she goes over how she told John that her and the kids would be okay and he could go if it was time. One by one he said goodbye to his kids. Each kid goes over what they told their father and break down. This is heartbreaking! I am in tears watching this! John Jr says he can’t remember what he said, but his dad winked at him. John locked eyes with each of his kids and held his daughter’s hand as he passed away on June 7th, 2006. A few weeks before his 43rd birthday and a few months before the birth of his first grand kid.

-Sags says he got the call from Fred, and that call happened too many times for guys in their era. Jake says it was horrible as he was a sweet man.

-No wrestlers showed up to the funeral, and there were no flowers from the WWF. Jeff wishes they would have tried harder to show his dad more love. Haku says he will always remember John as that is his Sumo Brother.

-Joanna says she stopped watching wrestling for years, but recently she started watching her father’s matches. Fred puts John over as a legend. “I love you brother.”

-Josephine says John is her soulmate as we see her and her children looking at photos. We see the first photo John and Josephine took together with something John wrote on the back. Josephine reads and breaks down. John says his dad was many things to many different people, but to them he was a great dad.

-Strong start to this season as this was both hilarious (thanks Haku) and heartbreaking. The last half with John’s family discussing his fight against cancer was rough. I appreciate they shared their father’s story and it’s fantastic that they remember their father as a great dad. This isn’t what you normally get from Dark Side as the only thing John did was get into an occasional argument with his wife over being on the road too much. Speaking of which it did seem weird to take shots at Vince for the crazy road schedule as that has been going on long before Vince. That just seemed to be another way for people to pile on him. Now, the WWF not sending flowers or a rep to the funeral is kind of tacky. The talking heads outside the family were really good here with Haku, Ottman, and Sags adding a lot. Outside of Haku laughing, it’s John’s wife and kids that were the star of this episode. It is great to see a marriage and family life that survived the wrestling business and that’s a credit to John and his wife. Definitely check this one out as you will laugh and cry a lot. Thanks for reading!